So E3 has came and went. Normally, the
only response I can rise to E3 is a saddened apathy. For years, E3
has not been for me. It has not been for the average gamer. Instead,
it puts on a spectacle and invites up celebrities to talk nonsense
words to speak to it's actual intended audience – wider mass media
and investors. If I wanted an event to truly speak to me, a gamer, I
would seek out one of the PAX events instead. However, this year was
different.
Going into E3 we had the previously
mentioned disastrous reveal of the Xbox One, or to call it by it's
derogative nickname, the Xbone. Where the Xbone had a lot of ground
to make up to gamers, Sony's PS4 coasted in with a slow building
hype. Where the Xbone had set itself apart with some brutal
anti-consumer policies, the PS4 had neglected to mention anything
regarding DRM and necessary persistent online connection, and had
been inundated with cries from the internet to make a firm stand in
the opposite direction. So the stage was set for some serious drama,
making this years E3 actually potentially interesting for once.
Microsoft went up first. Unfortunately,
they failed to recognise the mood of the everyday gamer and give a
big, 'Hah, we fooled you! Mega DRM and shite. Yeah, we ain't doing
that, because let's be honest; it's absolutely fucking stupid to put
our desires ahead of the actual consumer.' But they at least revealed
some games, which was sorely needed. Also EA revealed Plants vs
Zombies: Garden Warfare, turning a beloved tower defence game
into a shooter.
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| Everything must be Call of Duty! |
Rock on EA, you crazy mad assholes.
Anyway, up came Sony's turn to take the
stage. But first, a tangent.
Late last year, (I think) Blip.tv had a
series of adverts that stick in my mind. One of Blip.tv's problems
regarding adverts personally is the fact that they don't do variety –
if you've seen a advert pop up as you watch SF Debris or catch up
with Weekly Manga Recap
is that you are going to see that advert every fucking time you play
a video for the next bloody month. Please Blip.tv, let a couple
advertisements run in tandem. It's maddening. Anyway, Pepsi were
promoting a drink, I refuse to recollect the name, and they were
pushing it because it had 'natural flavourings' or some bollocks. Now
this wouldn't be too inoffensive, aside from the fact they're trying
to tell you that a fizzy pop drink is healthy, but they included
Coca-Cola's Sprite as a comparison. 'Sprite is filled with icky
chemicals, but we're chock full of fucking sunshine and unicorn farts
and are good for you!' was the whole gist of it.
You should never, ever mention your
competition by name. For starters, it's free advertising. Secondly,
we humans like picking sides. And this advert annoyed me so much
with it's smug condescending manner, I went out and brought a Sprite.
And I cannot stand Sprite. It's disgusting, and stick to your tongue
in a cloying, artificial way. But I bought one, went online, booted
up something at random, waited for the hated advert to start, and I
flipped it off with one hand whilst choking down the Sprite with the
other.
Basically, referring to your competitor
can be a risky business. Sony is full of smart people, they must know
this. And so they stepped on the stage...
 |
| 'sup. |
...and did the theatrical equivalent of
rubbing their balls all over Microsoft's face for the entire damn
set.
And it was one of the most glorious,
reaffirming, hilarious things I have ever seen.
I mean, Sony's policy regarding used
game sales and ownership is literally to do business as usual. But
they made a big song and dance about how it's business as usual,
i.e.: you own your own damn games that you paid your own damn money
for, and we loved them for it. A big middle finger up at Microsoft. I
mean, explain this video:
I mean, come on. This is Sony
wrecking the Xbone's shit and loving every second of
it.
So, boom. Oh, and were Sony done? Were
they hell. No online connection requirement. Boom. No regional
locking. Boom. No creepy camera watching me. Boom. An imperial
fuck-tonne of games. Boom. Considerably cheaper then the Xbone. Boom.
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| 'Follow me, gamers, to the promised land!' |
If I have one complaint, let me make
this one clear: I am not happy that they're locked out online
multiplayer behind Playstation Plus. Now, that sucks. It sucks a
little less then Xbox Live at least because it's only the online
multiplayer locked out – a Netflix app, for example, will still be
accessible regardless of membership to Playstation Plus as far as I
am aware. However, the Playstation Plus has been existing as a
subscription for free games. And it still will be. In fact, before
seeing E3, I was looking into getting a Playstation, and everyone of
my friends for possesses a Playstation Plus has said it is tremendous
value for money and worth getting. So in all likelihood, picking up
Playstation Plus is a no-brainer, so I'll still be getting online
multiplayer if I want it.
Still a little sore about having to, I
admit, but it's a damn sight better than Xbox Live. Better a tweak to
the nose than a punch on the balls? Okay, both suck, but still...
And in Microsoft's camp? Well, their
thunder had been well and truly stolen. When questioned about people
not having the required internet connection (even America, there
primary market, has spectacularly poor internet infrastructure: why
do you think Google Fibre is a thing?) they laughably said, 'Buy an Xbox 360 instead.'
So yes, they turned around and said 'Don't buy from us.' Genius. So,
all those soldiers out on the field playing games on their down time?
Better get a PS4. Why'd hate America Microsoft, huh? Why'd chu hate
'Merica?
Well, they'd have to regardless,
because the Xbone's supported country list at launch is depressingly slight.
What is hilarious however, is the Witcher 3 was touted by
Microsoft... which is a game, developed by a Polish game studio, from
the books of a Polish writer... and the Xbone is region locked, and
has no Xbox Live support at launch in Poland. Yep. No Live, no verification, no game, for the god damn developers of said game!
Oh Microsoft, you so funny. And stupid. And funny.
Incidentally, you know that eventually,
Microsoft drops support for it's products? Everyone does. But when
you need to log in every twenty-four hours, what happens to your
games when they drop the servers? Hmm. Who knows?
(Quick aside: playing Mass Effect 2
two days ago, and all of
a sudden I can't log into Xbox Live because they started demanding
additional information from me in the interests of 'security.' Twenty
sodding minutes of hoop-jumping before I could play the game, on this
console at least, that I own. Microsoft. You wonderful crowd pleaser,
you.)
At E3, Sony turned around and made
many, many converts to them. And they did it in a wonderful, comical,
entertaining way. It's a hell of a sales pitch; I feel like I'm
getting something, rather than begrudgingly permitted to do certain
things as long as I jump through enough hopes. So well done Sony;
I'll be switching. I look forward to seeing what the developer
Naughty Dog has next to offer.
I cannot believe I'm going to have to learn where those damn square-circle-triangle-buttons-nonsense go. Damn it.
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