Topical failure

There's a reason I write about topical things. Mainly a crushing lack of original imaginative ideas. Every week, something new comes up.

Apart from this week.

There's been shit fuck all to talk about. Which, I'll have you know, is a very technical term used by clever people.

Yes, I've been very late into this week. It has definitely been influenced by tabletop RPGs, birthday parties, and the discovery of the BBC's brilliant Sherlock series. But some, a very little bit admittedly  of the blame can be attributed to how nothing of interest to me has leapt up.

Let's be honest there. What we got? A new Mr. Pope. Whee. He still hates gays, women, contraceptives, and the safety of children. Here is the old boss, same as the old boss. Same policies, same hat... perhaps the hat is the medium how which idea transfer? The only new thing about him is that they're really trying to sell the whole 'thrifty man of the poor thing,' which would sell more to me personally if being Mr. Pope didn't come with a jewellery collection that's worth more than some country's annual incomes.

What else? Well we were going to get a new radical way of dealing with the press. Instead of a self-regulatory board, we were going to go with the recommendations of the Leveson Inquiry and create an independent board backed up by legislation, which had cross party support. Until the last moment where David Cameron, ol' Davy boy himself, decided that nah, we're good, we don't need that shit. I have no idea why. I mean, there was fear that the government could influence this board to silence criticism, and of all the people who could benefit from shutting up a host of dissenting voices, it's Davy boy. I get the feeling he's doing it to make the papers love him, and believe me, they would for this, but it won't last for long with his record of annoyance. I would of saved it for a more key moment, but hey, I'm not a professional politician here. Maybe he just wanted to feel loved for once. So once again, it's the status quo.

In fact, ol' Davy boy is the pinnacle of the status quo. I mean, I saw him trying to desperately convince everyone that he knows what he's doing, and he still looks as healthy, full haired and shiny as every. In fact, both him and the Chancellor, George Osborne, or the G Ozzy as I like to call him, seem at the zenith of health. Which is... strange, to say the least. I mean, if I was G Ozzy, staying the course of terrible policies, staring at the god awful numbers that keeps coming up – I mean, we're talking of a triple dip recession now. Let's face it, we're doing pretty shit. Hell, can we be honest, and don't talk about triple dip nonsense, just say it as it is – it's a depression. Sure, we're not meeting the exact definition yet, but we're close. If I was in G Ozzy's place, I would be kept up at night frantically going over the numbers, knowing that every number had a consequence, every number was a family in poverty, a family without work, another person suffering that no matter what I did – which is in this scenario, the same thing over and over regardless of the fact its not working – and I would look like shit. I would be a grey haired, emaciated shell of a human. Every meeting I would have in front of my peers I would be near tears at my uselessness. Hell, look at fellow world leaders. They go grey quick. See the difference between Obama before he became the president and how he is now.

Still comfortably in the lead for most attractive President ever.

It could just be his stress of dealing with a Republican party which seems to be embracing the idea to disagree with whatever he says... because. I'm not saying the Obama is a fountain of pure wisdom, that his policies are nought but wonderful – in truth, I have real issues with some of the shit he's pulled – but I would be going grey if I had to deal with the budget deal insanity. It could just be a cultural clash here, but if a party in this country stood up and said that they were vehemently against closing tax loopholes for the über rich and they were willing to double tap the economy to keep it from happening... yeah, the term 'political suicide,' is far too weak a term here. Political meltdown? Political apocalypse? Political EA terms of service? Anyway, I've spoken about their idiocy with the economy once. It's just a pity in topical circles that this isn't a one-off, but a hilarious running joke with not hilarious consequences.

Yet Davy boy and G Ozzy seem positively glowing. I feel mean for saying this, but it does seem to me that it feels like they just don't care. Nah, that's being facetious. 

They probably just feed off of misery.

Ohh! A new story! Due to a bailout for Cyprus, there's going to be a one off tax on personal savings!

What.

What.

What?

Are you insane?

For fuck's sake people, the headline of the Daily Mail today was about the EU raiding British saving accounts, and I couldn't entirely disagree with it! I couldn't entirely disagree with a headline on the Daily fucking Mail! Of course, it's not exactly accurate – it implies a raid on British savings, when it's strictly British citizens living in Cyprus, but for the Daily Mail that's basic operating standards. I mean, I like the EU (most of the time), I like the way they seem adamant on granting me right and protecting me from bullshit big business, but... come on! What did you think would happen? Sure, you're targeting foreign nationals who've been using Cyprus as a tax haven, but da-yum. That everyone would nod their heads and say, 'Whelp, seems fair.' Ah, no. I know what I would do. If someone threatened a 5% or 10% tax on my savings account, I'd sprint into my bank's foray, screaming 'Give me all my money now!' And just so you know, that is not a scenario that bank's like. And that is exactly what is happening. They're already emptying out ATMs. Can't say I'd blame them. I know the EU doesn't make decisions on how the British press would make of it – they couldn't do anything if they did – but they must know how bad this would look, and how they are giving a whole bunch of banks a punch to the nuts here.

So that's this week. The same old, and a silly thing happening in Cyprus. Now is time to sign out... wait, they  had proof of Nixon committing treason just before his campaign? I take it back! I want to talk about that!

Nooooo!

...huh, am I talented at talking for a while without saying anything. Maybe I should be a politician...