cock sex boobs - the filters are here to stay

Okay. Are we all sitting comfortably?

So remember when I absolutely exploded over the shit-for-brains scheme to ban all porn on the internet via the infallible means of filters? It's my most popular post bar Guns Of Icarus thus far, so some of you read it. Well, it turns out that after all that screaming and yelling the bill was sunk for it being laughably stupid yet horrifying. And so the world was a more sane, happier place.

Ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

It's funny because the world isn't that kind.

Because it's back. Oh, it's back. Instead of making a law about it, most of our internet providers have been leaned on to create their own bloody filters. So now let's have a look at this undemocratic filter applied to us...

Hmm, Ben Goldacre, what witty delights do you have for me today... ah.. er...

What.

Excuse me a moment. You know, I had this big 'I told you so' built up for the this, because that does mention sexual health, something I did say would be ended up blocked. I had a dance prepped and everything, which was very difficult to convey by the median of word. But I... don't want to do it any more. I failed to ever imagine that 'respect' for your sexual partner would be something necessary to get rid of.

WHAT THE ACTUAL SWEET FUCKING FUCK.

Oh, I made a tasteless joke instantly, telling my partner to get back in the kitchen until it was pointed out that respect could also mean not knocking your partner from room to room like a football. So I started out being not funny, and I was immediately one-upped to being depressed. Oh and look, the Edinburgh Women's Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre's website is blocked as 'pornographic.'

Welcome to the eve of 2014. We block information to not treat your loved ones like a human punching bag.

Or to rape them.

Oh, I could be kind, and point out that BT has changed said page.

No, BT, this doesn't answer my questions, you sick slimy shits.

I could be kind, and point out that this is opt out and you have to choose on start up so it's not imposed on you.

But no.

No. This doesn't deserve kindness.

This is absolutely abhorrent. Considering we have almost every person who was on 1980s television currently facing charges for paedophilia, you'd think we'd want plenty of sexual education out there. Nope. Nada. Zip.

It is disgusting that BT would think that this is something that anyone would want to block. It is disgusting that is anyone would want that blocked, that BT is happy to enable that. It is disgusting that after being called out on this callous shit BT is still offering it as an option.

I will never grant BT my business again. It's not much, but it's all I have.

Er, I should probably add a few lines about how awful it is to block homosexual related content, especially because many teens discover their sexuality may find little support from home or immediate friends, so the internet is a safe place to seek help. And that's true. It's just that there's a lot of rage up here, and it's having to fight for a place, and I keep coming back to the whole 'not rape' thing. But you can just consider some close-minded parents blocking sexual education content in an attempt to keep their children on the literal straight and narrow. How bloody charming.

Make no mistake, for all the smiling Davy boy does, this the person he is. This is the things he wants.

The sad thing is... among many sad things, admittedly, is that the original bill, the original start to all of this, had nothing to do with web blocks. That was tacked on at the end. It was originally about granting digital ownership rights. Yeah, that music in your iTunes library, those games in Steam, your Photoshop on you desktop? They'd be yours. Free to trade, loan or return, like any other physical thing you own. That would of been amazing, and sorely needed.

Instead the porn thing got tacked on, and torpedoed the bill. We now no longer have digital rights for our property. But we still have this fucking evil filter. And make no mistake, anything that would take education and banish it is, without any preamble, is evil.

It's not over though. Look at that list. What's that? Extremist websites are to be blocked. Extremists. What's extremist, anyway? We don't really have a definition. The hate shriekers? The dissidents? Is it The Guardian, constantly leaking documents from Snowden, if they're endangering intelligence agents, isn't that extremist? Best get rid of that criticism... These filters have moved so far beyond the supposed menace of porn, and this is what we have now. Freedom of information is no more.

Welcome to 2014. This is what my country does now.

My Christmas gift to you is an extension to Chrome that will bypass this horror.

Because fortunately, as despicable as my leaders are, they are mercifully inept.