Why is David Cameron writing to me?

You know, as I stared and the missing textures and infinite looping of Evil Genius' final cut scene, I broke down and lost interest in trying to be productive for that night, instead lost in the misery of being denied closure I had played so long for (*cough*Mass Effect 3*cough*.)

I thought I was being pretty damn lazy regarding my blog.

But no! It turns out it was some tactical inaction, as today I was blessed with this letter:

What.

What the fuck is that.

No, seriously, the fuck. The fuck is Davy boy writing to me. Me.

For contrast, I didn't get one single bloody pamphlet about the NHS data plans. They've already been sold off, and if I wanted to opt out of the data sell off I would have to be politically engaged enough to track down details of that online. But here we have Davy boy, writing to me, personally, wanting a vote. Uh, I realise you can't tell he's got my name that beneath the censor bars, but this letter isn't to a 'Occupier' of the address which I usually get.

It says my name.

Okay, fine, I just shifted the bars just enough so you can see the start of my name, which is clearly not 'Occupier,' because you should never trust anybody on the internet. Or TV. Or anywhere.

Davy boy knows my name.

Er, how? Because once again, while I never got shit about the NHS data sell off, Davy boy's Tories has my fucking name and address and I opted out of having my data available on the electoral roll. It's not there. It's so not here, that when I order machetes off the internet there's an extra song and dance we have to do to verify my age as most places check electoral registers before handing over a machete and yes right about now I want another fucking machete how could you tell?

So. Davy boy. You have my data. I wouldn't have, and have never, given you permission to have my. Fucking. Data. So why the hell do you have it?

Every other political party who tries to recruit me to vote for them gives me a blank 'To the Occupier' spiel and here Davy boy is, personally canvasing me for a vote, using my bloody name and address. Fuck. You.

Oh, I haven't even got to the bit where I personally attack the content of the letter! Sorry, been stuck on what appears to be an enormously illegal breach of the confidentiality of my personal data. Getting weirdly fixated on that.

Okay, lets looks at some bits.

Sorry, my hand was shaking with anger. Tumblr has some nice photo blogs, if you need a balance.

Okay, those three, somewhat hazy pics (because I was an idiot and left the macro off and I've already burnt the offending letter denying me a more professional second attempt,) I have some umbrage with. Namely:

• You didn't cut our budget. You slashed it. You gouged it deeper then what Jack did to working ladies in Victorian London.
• You veto was an inherently pointless bit of politicking which achieved nothing, only that the rest of the EU went off to act like adults whilst sitting you in the creche until you finished your tantrum. 
• You refused to bail out the euro. Big. Fucking. Whoop.

This whole letter is a plea to vote for him so that we, the people, get an in/out referendum on the EU. Which is funny, as that's something I sure not even Davy boy truly wants, because he's devious enough to know that the EU provides measurable benefits to our economy and nation. Hell, they've even suppressed a report that was meant to find the opposite of that when it came back all chummy about the EU. So I'm kind of sick of him on one hand, playing up that Mr. EU is the baddie, letting the jizz-rags of our tabloids slander it every day, whilst secretly knowing how much good it does for us. He'll let little Eddie Miliband hold the 'The EU is actually good for us, guys' card, and tear into him for it. He'll piss on our country's future prosperity to gain some points now.

I mean, I could start listing off further things that Davy boy has done that has pissed me off.

So I shall.

• There's the privatization of the NHS.
• The privatization of the Royal Mail at a knock-down rate.
• For showing me the Lib Dem's were heartless charlatans. 
• Tripling of student fees.
• Economy fuck up.
• Blaming the whole economy mess on Labour's spending. (Okay, Labour ain't blameless, but it's infuriating how their spinelessness in standing up for themselves has allowed the austerity bullshit to be justified in the public's eyes.)
• Legal aid cuts.
• Demonization of the poor, the sick, and the unemployed for being the source of all our country's financial woes, which is utter bullshit as I have already shown.

AND THIS IS ONLY OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD. I mean, if I sat down and thought about it for a moment, instead of nursing my red-hot rage-

• Lobbying bill that would actively hurt legitimate charities.

-yes, fine, if I sat down and thought about it, I would have some-

• Not chasing some of the biggest tax evaders because of reasons. Yes. Reasons.
• Tax cuts for the rich, and tax hikes for the poor.

OKAY. Yes. Fine. There are many reasons why I personally dislike Davy boy, (not included his big smug stupid face I just wanna punch it so bad) I just never thought I'd have to add; uses my personal data for funsies on top of that. Gah. Davy boy. Stay the fuck out of my data, and stay the fuck out of my letterbox.

Though I will allow you to write to me personally to ask politely for me to stop calling you 'Davy boy.'

Because I will frame the crap outta that letter.

Before setting it on fire.