Misery on misery

A few months ago I decided to look into this Everyday Sexism project. I mean, I know I'm pretty awesome with the whole progressive thing, but there was a decent chance I was doing something – albeit unintentional – that could be considered insensitive. So I took a look at their site.

On the plus side I cursory examination revealed that I wasn't doing anything that was getting called up on their site.

On the minus side OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS MY GENDER DOING.

I mean, I'm not really sure where so many men got the idea that it was okay to touch without permission. Ah. No. Don't do that. You scumbag. This covers a whole bunch of things, It's been a recent thing in the news about the Steubenville rape case. Oh, it's horrific, but the main thing that many news outlets have taken away was that it was a shame for such 'promising students' to do this. Yeah. Mass sympathy. For rapists. Who boasted about it. You can check here for some coverage that doesn't do that, but the case is still awful.

Wanna play a game with me? Imagine a man got raped out on the town. And every news report had these opinions. That he shouldn't of been wearing such a tight shirt. That he shouldn't of been out alone. He shouldn't of been out so late. Shouldn't of been in that part of town. He was clearly gagging for it anyway. He was drunk, who did it hurt? It was only a date rape, that's not a big deal. Yeah... that wouldn't be reported that way. So why is it fine to talk like this the other way?

Now, because I'm not very good with determining correct pronouns and the like (my genius does not have time for such a petty thing as grammar,) and I'm sure everyone out there are swell people, and this isn't an attack on you at home who gets the obvious things I'm about to say... and honestly, I hope I'm preaching to the choir here, but it sadly needs to be said: Don't rape. Don't touch. No one wants to see your penis. Breasts aren't doing the talking, so that's not where you eyes should be exclusively staring at. Don't do that kissing face / sounds. Which I really don't get, because if the intention was to express interest, that assumes a desire for a reciprocal interest, which makes no sense, as there are plenty of different ways to do this without coming across as a complete and colossal creep.

What I did want to talk about was comedy, or how you're doing it wrong. Yes, this is in fact the main thing I want to talk about, but I had to address that elephant in the room there.

One of the many things that annoys me is the constant cries of that the feminists are taking away our jokes. Guys. No. They're not. Sure, they may want you to stop saying certain things, but trust me on this; they weren't funny, nor were they strictly 'jokes.'

As a parallel, if you every wanted to destroy me, you have two options. Firstly, don't follow me on Twitter or read this blog, and I'll end curled up in the corner weeping that nobody appreciates my brilliance. Secondly, set up a recording of me with my friends talking and publish a transcript after chopping out every one else's part of the conversation and I'll be done. I spend a lot of my time with my close friends saying some of the most outrageous, offensive things. And it's funny. Do you know why it's funny? Because they know, most certainly, who I am, and that is not a massive racist/sexist/anti-Semite/homophobe/whatever. A douchebag? Yeah, probably, but they know me, and they know what I am saying is an attack on the mindsets that house those opinions. Context and audience is very important.

So when you respond to a stranger on the internet 'STFU, bitch,' you are not being funny. Especially if they're gone to the internet for a relatively safe place to complain about the shit they get daily for the crime of being a women, and yes, whilst you may intend to be highlighting and mocking the mindset of assholes, to her, it's just another random, uncalled attack. She doesn't know you. This is the internet, and written communication; your context is only implied by the reader, and you will be mistaken on everything and anything. Also. You were not funny. Try to understand comedy is a craft, and you should work on it. Because you suck.

But you know what I'll settle for? For EverdaySexism no longer existing. This is not me declaring that they should shut their complaining and get back in the kitchen, which would be a kinda ironic and nonsensical thing to ask for. I want it to end like the ideal end of a charity scenario: putting itself out of business. To get to a point where this shit isn't everyday.

Because a little while ago they invented a hashtag for Twitter, #Followed. And oh, dear god, no. For starters, once again I ask, why would you do this? Look, people, one quick heads up? That 'playing hard to get' thing? Doesn't happen with strangers. Which is you. And following a person home? You know a home is where you feel safe enough to sleep, right? Which you are now taking that away from somebody? And if she maced you, then she has access to two legal defences in tandem, self-defence and mistake, assuming you're a absolute cretin who wasn't meaning to come across as a predatory rapist. Also, if she maced you? Goood job, hypothetical woman.When this hastag started, I lost my Twitter feed. The end, goodnight, gone. Because all it disappeared under a torrent of misery. Over and over again, a non stop rush of woe and fear. In fact, it made me severely tempted to stop following their Twitter account so that I could feel joy again.

Why do we tolerate living in a world of our creation that lets this be a norm? No one's asking anybody to change overnight. Just that you engage your brain a little bit more often.

God I'm depressed.

I'll think I'll just watch this gif on loop until I feel better.

Oh cuddle cat, make the pain go away.