Sochi Winter Olympics - because gay bashing is easier than fighting corruption

So, the winter Olympic's is happening now, which I'm sure some people are very happy about. Some strange, now doubt perfectly nice people, but strange nonetheless. Then again the luge is basically competitive sledding, so that's kinda cool.

It's also been a big deal this time round that Russia quite frankly is being the biggest of all dicks it can be this time round, as they seem to have quickly decided that instead of acknowledging in being 2014 they'd like a mind view from the 1950s, thank you very much. It's sort of funny, in a not-actually-funny way. I mean, when the 'no homosexual propaganda' laws passed I will admit a lot of confusion - funnily enough, I know some gay people, and they've never tried to repeatedly sit me down and tell me tales on how being a homosexual is the best thing ever over and over until I break down and suddenly become gay. Because that's a rather stupid thing to believe happens, and Russia didn't have stones to pass an outright 'Gays are icky' law.

Incidentally, the only time I can think of being told repeatedly how awesome gay men and man on man lovin' is from of a couple of my woman friends.

To compound this dickholeness, we first of all had the whole 'There are no gay people in Sochi' line from the mayor, which exactly the sort of line I'd expect from someone hiding sweaty fireman videos in their sock drawer. He also asked gay people to not force their habits on others - either he seriously believes that homosexuality passes from person to person like a flamboyant version of the T-Virsus...

"THE GAYS ARE SWARMING FOR MY HOT BODY, HOLD THEM BACK!"

...or much more likely he's the sort of person who weeps himself to sleep at night haunted by the image of his male secretary's tight ass. You know Pakhmomov, it's okay. It's who you are. You don't have to lash out like this. We also were blessed by a terrible attempt at damage control by Putin. Remember, the 'it's okay to be gay just stay away from our kids' bit?

Yes, because you are clearly the sort of person with impeccable heterosexuality

Sigh. I'm not going to go into a blow by blow on how fucking stupid that line is, so I'll quote Jim Sterling's summary on how paedophiles and gay people are different. Ahem. How did it go again?

"Paedophiles. Fuck. Kids."

Ah, there we go. I don't even have the energy to explain that being gay is just that. Woo. They're not hiding behind the couch to ambush you and convert you, they're not all sex-crazed maniacs who can't keep their hands off you. They're just people. They also bizarrely get the whole 'non-consent isn't cool' thing just like most other straight people get. Funny, right? It's almost like they're people!

 Also you'd need to work out a bit more before anyone would want to grope you, let alone someone of your own gender, so there's that.

Weirdly enough, I was waiting for a whole bunch of countries to come out and boycott the games so I was kinda reassured that this didn't happen. For starters, everyone boycotts the Olympics all the damn time, so it's not like it's an actual statement any more, other than you making the host's lives a little easier by not having to plan for you. Also, anyone boycotting would of been tactically implying that everyone else going was totally cool with hatin' on gays, which isn't something fair to start saddling people with. Pulling yourself out of co-operation rarely help with anything, compared to subtly making snide remarks behind the assholes' back. Which is what we got instead, in spades.

We started off with Google, and their rainbow Olympic banner. We swiftly moved onto Canada, who set the bar high with a glorious quick little video:

However, they were all beaten to the punch by America. No high level delegates bothered to turn up, which is a fun snub... and then the ones they did send by a strange, random coincidence all turned out to by gay. Heh. Well played. Bringing passive-aggressiveness into the diplomatic scene is something I always enjoy.

Perhaps this is all a smokescreen on Russia's part: whilst the last winter Olympic's cost a cool $7.4 billion we're looking at least a $30 billion bill that Russia has to cough up. Now either they're giving each security person their own personal jump jet to take on terrorism threat or Russia has a slight problem of endemic corruption, and I'm leaning on the latter, if only because I'm sure the Russia security forces would rather ride grizzly bears instead. Well, that price tag is what happens when you hand out government contracts like candy to all your friends.

However, no one is being brilliantly passive-aggressive about corruption so it's less interesting to discuss.

So relax and enjoy the Olympics, and allow yourself the tiny thrill of schadenfreude whenever a gay athlete lifts a gold medal - because if anything is homosexual propaganda, it'll be that.