Ben Affleck as Batman? Well, I gu-SAINTS ROW SAINTS ROW SAINTS ROW

You know, there is something out there I should be getting angry at. Maybe something I should be getting happy at. Maybe even something I should be getting introspective at.

And then Saints Row IV happened.

Hey, you know what this gun does?

Oh god, I have played so much Saints Row IV that it's legitimately concerning. I think in two days I've had it Steam is showing I've put close to twenty four bleedin' hours in, and I have to stop before my body atrophies and I die of arse cramps. And dehydration... because the kitchen in like, five metres away and that's far too great a distance to walk.

IT ALIEN ABDUCTS THEM. FOR REALS.

But no. I will tear myself away from Saints Row IV and become a human being again, one that is a productive member society, inasmuch as a human being who regularly writes a blog can be considered a productive member of society, rather than yet another creature who hurls poorly written expletive-riddled mess into the abyss that is the internet.

STOMP. Heh, look at the innocent vehicles and civilians fly.

That thought was brought to you by the fact I am highly aware how piss poor my grammar is and how many typos sneak their way into this. I re-read so old posts recently. Omph, Ow. Yeah. Have I ever apologized to you for inflicting that on you?

Anyway, something semi-serious. So. We have a new Batman. It's going to be Ben Affleck. Everybody is upset.

Myself, I don't really care either way. For starters, I started to wane (hehe) on the ultra serious super gritty and realistic Batman a while back, and by the time the finale of Nolan's Batman trilogy ended repeated playthroughs of the Arkham series of games, and my rising enjoyment of the Marvel franchise films had hit my enthusiasm hard. I've stopped caring about grim, dark and gritty, stopped caring about films that seem a little ashamed of their source material and has to stop every five minutes to attempt to explain something that didn't need explaining or to take digs at the source material. Hell, in the Marvel films they throw garish colours everywhere, and will only end movies on happy notes - and I'm cool with that. I don't need to leave  every film theatre depressed.

The ticket and food prices already do that.

However, as the grimdark new Superman movie failed to reached the staggering profit that the Batman movies did, DC are shoving Batman, their most lucrative asset, in to boast sales. It's a cynical, and more wearying, obvious cash ploy, which doesn't assure me much of quality at the end of the day. Though, one question people; why is the new Superman so grimdark, in navy and crimson and not the blue and red? Because Batman was grimdark and earned billions. That is why. It doesn't matter that it makes no sense for the characters to be portrayed that way. Grimdark Batman made phat cash, so Superman will be grimdark, and will supposedly earn phat cash by that logic. So what that Superman, in his own fucking name, is designed to be inspirational? Pah. Make it realistic 'n shit! Have people afraid of him and have him destroy everything! People liked Zod, drop him in there! Ca-ching!

My apathy for the mistake already in the making of the film aside, another reason I'm not jumping on the hate wagon for Ben Affleck is that I've yet to see him in action, and I reckon it's fair to at least see him play Batman before shitting on him. You know, reserve judgement until seeing it, which is very hypocritical of me admittedly because I just bashed the new Superman movie without seeing it, and have been shitting on a future film without seeing it. I am aware of the hypocrisy, and as everyone knows, being aware of your own hypocrisy makes you immune to criticism. I think.

The notion of giving an actor a chance however is remarkably mature of me, because in animated versions of Batman if it's not voiced by Kevin Conroy I have a tendency to throw them across the room as blasphemous material.

It's not that Kevin Conroy sounds like Batman, it's that Batman sounds like Kevin Conroy.

But look, we all shit on pretty-boy Heath Ledger's casting as the Joker and look what we got - something god damn terrifying. Anne Hathaway gave us an impressive take on Catwoman, and while very different to the traditional gangling and awkward Doctor Crane, Cillian Murphy did a great job throwing the character in a new angle. In an animated Justice League movie I saw (Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths) William Baldwin of all people voiced an acceptable Batman. Not a Kevin Conroy standard performance, (duh) but an acceptable performance, and I was not expecting that from William bloody Baldwin. So, Affleck? He's worth a shot. I'm not expecting much, but I think Affleck has the chin for it.

So. Internets. Calm down. Take you stupid sodding petitions (which I refuse to link to) and chill out. It'll likely be a shit film anyway. If anything, you should be encouraging Affleck to put in as poor a performance as possible - a medicore film is boring to sit through. But a poor film with insane levels of over-acting?

Do I even have to say it?

That's comedy gold.