Silly season is boring season

I can feel silly season starting. It's starting to grate already.

Silly season, for those not in the know, is what happens when your ruling body of politicians fucks off en masse to go on holiday, a notion that to this very day weirds me out. I mean, whatever, I hope most of them don't come back, but shit is still happening. Shit is always happening, yet the guys and women in charge have fucked off. I know I've read in the past before urgent economic deals needed, with the market stressing out as the legislators are about to clock off and potentially not get essential legislation passed until a month later - because that's what the market really likes, sitting on a problem for a month. Why can't a skeleton crew run things?

...because if there was, like fifteen dudes and ladies running things temporary, you'd worry by the time you've come back from holiday they'd of locked the doors and declared themselves the new rulers. Right. Sorry. Stupid question.

Wasn't I talking about something else?

Oh! Right! Silly season! Yes, well, with everybody politically interesting having fucked off, that takes away a prime filler of the news, such as speeches, statements, gaffes and announcements. All the fun stuff. Without that to cover, it starts looking a little empty on the news front, so traditionally the news media covers the dearth of content with content that has a dearth of rationality. Hence, silly season.

So far the most important thing I can find is the whole Gibraltar thing that's flared up again. It's typical really; as Brits, it's not just fun enough to mess with Argentina over the Falklands, but we have to do the same to the Spanish as well. Of course, the great thing about it, is like Argentina, Spain got really petty, only this time they were in the position to act on it. So they upped security searches to cause delays, and are threatening to implement a toll both.

Of course, the worst case scenario is Britain going, 'Fine, you fucking take it,' and then Spain realizes with their economy already in the toilet they can't afford to run it. Honestly, I wonder if Argentina and Spain secretly hope we never call their bluffs, because both Gibraltar and the Falklands as wind-swept desolate rocks in the middle of nowhere.

However, because it's silly season, that barely gets a look in... for now, until a few tabloids click onto the pettiness thing and explode in indignant rage. Silly season is why Simon Cowell has ended up everywhere, having done something...? Something over sex, I think. Er. I wasn't paying attention, as it seemed criminally boring and nothing to do with me. Oh god, he didn't tweet someone a picture of his dick, did he? No, that can't of been it. Because it totally would of been The Sun's front page if he did.

And even I would notice that.

So, should I do the standard pretentious thing and lament why we can't have a more high brow season? There's plenty of interesting things still happening. The Mars rovers are still going strong. Did you know that Curiosity is nuclear powered, and that has the duel benefit of not only having a shit tonne of staying power but it burns hot enough to keep it nice and toasty warm? Because that was a legitimate issue with the previous rover, Opportunity, if I recollect, has to spend a lot of it's gathered solar power to warm itself up because it turns out that Mars is bitchin' cold. Also, Curiosity weighs about two tonnes, and because Mars' atmosphere is so thin, a parachute alone wouldn't work. So they built what amounts to a friggin' JET PACK and air craned it down. Because fucking JET PACKS, that's why.

Basically, the whole thing about exploring Mars is totally and utterly bitchin' and we should talk about it more.

And if we want to keep things focused on this planet, we can talk about the Large Hadron Collider which... has totally been shut down for some more upgrades. Ah. Okay. Fine. Scratch that. How about some more focus on international news? I mean, our jacks and jennys have fucked the fuck off, but there's got to be some other countries that have people in charge sticking around and we could focus on them!

Only that nobody would care about that, because in a fit of honesty, even I don't give the international news more than a cursory glance nowadays. But that's mainly Syria's fault, being a colossal downer. Yeah, the only international story my media cares about, and it's about two different sides apparently trying to out-horrible the other side. Pass.

Hmm. I think what I'm actually doing is complaining that with silly season around, I won't have anything I particularly feel like talking about, unless I decide that what my readers want is to listen to me talk on and on about X-Com: Enemy Unknown and Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood.

So please, news media, give me something interesting to talk about.

Failing that, Spain, double down on Gibraltar. Please. For me?