I hold them accountable, and find them wanting

Politics has always fascinated me. Where people draw the line and say no further, and where they don't see lines that others do. It's probably why I'm such a bore to be around. In many ways I'm grateful to be British and have our peculiar oddities in law, because when I look at American politics a lot of the lines on the sand seemed to be based merely off what the other side was promoting. It comes across as pathetically petty. Of course, in contrast, I get a House of Commons that is unwatchable because it's such uncomfortable viewing watching grown men jeer and mock and shriek like children at one another, so it's all swings and roundabouts. (If you are wondering that I only added that last phrase to mess with any Americans that wandered into this lonely corner of the internet, I admit nothing.) I mention this today as we've recently passed the first reading of an amendment to our law that would enable marriage to be equal on grounds of gender.

Watch out people. We're going to let our gays marry. Le horror.

What strikes me as particularly interesting is the differences of mentality of the sides of debate. One the one hand we have a very passionate bunch of people, who are very robust in denouncing this change as debilitating the term and act of marriage, with zeal that is only ramped up when religion is brought into it. On the other side, the mentality seems to be more... like a shrug, really. I've yet to see people as passionate as the 'no' side. For clarity's sake, I'm not saying their aren't people who feel very strongly in approval of gay marriage, their definitely are, but I've yet to see someone match the rate of manic zeal the 'no' side trots out.

For me, if you burst into my place of work, grasped me roughly by the shoulders and demanded my opinion on equal marriage rights, I would (after politely removing your hands from my shoulders) shrug and say, 'Sure. Why not?' And that's it. It doesn't take anything away from me. I am aware that marriage is a whole host of legal rights, and, well, a section of law-abiding society is denied access to it currently, which is unfair, so that should be corrected. My passion for it is to see an injustice corrected. I am aware of the counter arguments. I have decided that they are all irrelevant. No, it won't take anything away from current married couples. No, it won't lead to animal marriages in the same vein that letting women have the vote hasn't led us to dogs having the vote. No, teachers aren't going to be forced to teach that being gay is the best thing ever and all the cool kids are doing it, and let's face it, we already have gay couples who've been taking their kids to school for a while now, those kids have already got the gist that some couple don't strictly come in the 'Mum + Dad' category. No, marriage is not an untouchable bastion, we used to forcibly marry off women all the time in treaty negotiations and that changed, oh, hey, also remember when the law changed so it was recognized that a married women could be raped by her husband when before that was impossible? Anyone? So this also, can change. There are probably more arguments against, but honestly, not one has ever come close to sounding convincing and I don't have the patience to continue.

Do you want to know a secret? Once, I found a single argument against equal marriage that I felt sorta held weight. Wanna know what it was? Say a kid has two dads. One is called 'daddy.' So. What is the other one called? WHAT DO YOU CALL THE SECOND BLOKE?

Then I read a sweet G2 article where a couple said that he was 'daddy,' and his partner was 'papa.'

At this point, I threw up my hands, and declared the debate over. Equal marriage. No counter arguments worth having. Done.

It's a curious thing. For some people, this is a Big Bad Thing worth getting very incensed over, whilst a lot of the opposing side it's a big deal in that it's a wrong to be fixed, but not one they're going to go red in the face at. It might just be because in this country most of us are for equal marriage rights, so the pro side aren't massively emotional as there's not a bitter fight to be fought. They're going to win, it just takes time, why work yourself up about something a few die-hards can gripe and scream about but not prevent? Of course, this could all just be me projecting, but seriously, I have read the counter-arguments. They bore me. As said, I have deemed them irreverent. So have many others. Move over already, and if it really bothers you, don't marry a person of the same gender and you'll be fine.

Besides, it seems like they're missing an important point. I mean, let's be honest everyone...

Um. What was I doing again?

...those women. Are hawt. Regardless of internal or external sexual organs. Look, Natelie Portman was in the Star Wars prequels and I still find her unintelligible-speech hot. That's sufficient hotness to overcome nerd rage, it's more than hot enough to make a fellow woman go 'Daaaaaaaayum.'

Also she studied like, four languages, went to Harvard, has had scientific papers published and - shut up me shut up me - oh hey Christina was YoSaffBridge in Firefly which was one of the best sci-fi - shut up shut up shut up.

Anyway. Lesbianism doesn't squick out men so much nowadays, (many the complete opposite) so in the interest of being completely and utterly honest with ourselves...

What's the phrase? 'No homo?'

I am a straight male. Boobs are like the best thing, evar. And as a straight straighterty straighterson male... that is one pretty man.

I said it.

Unff. One pretty man.

Of course, if I was being really honest with you, I'd say that personally...

In my defense; Google search has his name immediately followed by 'shirtless.' Just sayin'

I find him prettier. Unff.

Ahem. Anyway. Back to the original point. I'm for equal marriage, but I'm not massively emotional on the subject bar the fact it would be nice, to, you know, start treating people equally and everything, which not doing so is not cool.

However my emotional feelings on the people – not the sides – are very different. Because I am tempered in feeling for my side, it doesn't mean I can't get a real mad on what the other side is pushing. Sure, you can be on the other side of a debate on me. But in this case, by attempting to needlessly block equality to a group of people that already take more than their far share of shite from society? By entrenching yourself with a side that I have not found one single goddamn argument to hold any bloody weight? Just how, just how fucking privileged are you? Why, in that case, that makes you, your right honourable selves, some complete and massive pricks.

And hey, I was thinking to myself, 'Wow. Those are some class A douchebags there. Voting against it. Isn't it a pity that we've heard all the nonsense arguments, yet they won't retreat. Man, I wish I could, in some way, hold them accountable for their actions. Why, I wish I knew who voted against it, so I could look at their names, and always remember to treat them with utter contempt and be sure I, or anyone else, never ever elect them to office again.'

And then I got an idea. A terrible, wonderful, idea. I have a blog. Obviously. Duh. Some of you must agree with me, unless you're here to be angry at my world views or because you take a perverse sexual thrill in spelling and grammatical errors. And some of those who agree with me may just reside in my county. So. What's stopping me from, say, going to www.publicwhip.org.uk and publishing a list of all those who voted against (and abstained) so that we could hold those that hold some pretty detestable views accountable for their shit?

Name	Constituency	Party	Vote
Adam Afriyie	Windsor	Con	no
Peter Aldous	Waveney	Con	no
David Amess	Southend West	Con	no
James Arbuthnot	North East Hampshire	Con	no
Richard Bacon	South Norfolk	Con	no
Steven Baker	Wycombe	Con	no
Tony Baldry	Banbury	Con	no
Guto Bebb	Aberconwy	Con	no
Henry Bellingham	North West Norfolk	Con	no
Paul Beresford	Mole Valley	Con	no
Andrew Bingham	High Peak	Con	no
Bob Blackman	Harrow East	Con	no
Peter Bone	Wellingborough	Con	tellno
Graham Brady	Altrincham and Sale West	Con	no
Julian Brazier	Canterbury	Con	no
Andrew Bridgen	North West Leicestershire	Con	no
Steve Brine	Winchester	Con	no
Fiona Bruce	Congleton	Con	no
Robert Buckland	South Swindon	Con	no
Simon Burns	Chelmsford	Con	no
David Burrowes	Enfield, Southgate	Con	no
Alun Cairns	Vale of Glamorgan	Con	no
Douglas Carswell	Clacton	Con	no
William Cash	Stone	Con	no
Rehman Chishti	Gillingham and Rainham	Con	no
Christopher Chope	Christchurch	Con	no
Geoffrey Clifton-Brown	The Cotswolds	Con	no
Therese Coffey	Suffolk Coastal	Con	tellno
Geoffrey Cox	Torridge and West Devon	Con	no
Stephen Crabb	Preseli Pembrokeshire	Con	no
David Davies	Monmouth	Con	no
Glyn Davies	Montgomeryshire	Con	no
Philip Davies	Shipley	Con	no
David Davis	Haltemprice and Howden	Con	no
Nick de Bois	Enfield North	Con	no
Caroline Dinenage	Gosport	Con	no
Nadine Dorries	Mid Bedfordshire	Con	no
Richard Drax	South Dorset	Con	no
Charlie Elphicke	Dover	Con	no
Jonathan Evans	Cardiff North	Con	no
David Evennett	Bexleyheath and Crayford	Con	no
Michael Fallon	Sevenoaks	Con	no
Liam Fox	North Somerset	Con	no
Mark Francois	Rayleigh and Wickford	Con	no
George Freeman	Mid Norfolk	Con	no
Roger Gale	North Thanet	Con	no
Edward Garnier	Harborough	Con	no
Mark Garnier	Wyre Forest	Con	no
Cheryl Gillan	Chesham and Amersham	Con	no
John Glen	Salisbury	Con	no
Robert Goodwill	Scarborough and Whitby	Con	no
James Gray	North Wiltshire	Con	no
Andrew Griffiths	Burton	Con	no
Robert Halfon	Harlow	Con	no
Simon Hart	Carmarthen West and South Pembrokeshire	Con	no
Alan Haselhurst	Saffron Walden	Con	no
John Hayes	South Holland and The Deepings	Con	no
Oliver Heald	North East Hertfordshire	Con	no
Gordon Henderson	Sittingbourne and Sheppey	Con	no
Philip Hollobone	Kettering	Con	no
Adam Holloway	Gravesham	Con	no
Gerald Howarth	Aldershot	Con	no
Stewart Jackson	Peterborough	Con	no
Gareth Johnson	Dartford	Con	no
David Jones	Clwyd West	Con	no
Marcus Jones	Nuneaton	Con	no
Greg Knight	East Yorkshire	Con	no
Kwasi Kwarteng	Spelthorne	Con	no
Mark Lancaster	Milton Keynes North	Con	no
Pauline Latham	Mid Derbyshire	Con	no
Jeremy Lefroy	Stafford	Con	no
Edward Leigh	Gainsborough	Con	no
Julian Lewis	New Forest East	Con	no
David Lidington	Aylesbury	Con	no
Peter Lilley	Hitchin and Harpenden	Con	no
Jack Lopresti	Filton and Bradley Stoke	Con	no
Jonathan Lord	Woking	Con	no
Tim Loughton	East Worthing and Shoreham	Con	no
Karen Lumley	Redditch	Con	no
Anne Main	St Albans	Con	no
Paul Maynard	Blackpool North and Cleveleys	Con	no
Karl McCartney	Lincoln	Con	no
Anne McIntosh	Thirsk and Malton	Con	no
Stephen McPartland	Stevenage	Con	no
Esther McVey	Wirral West	Con	no
Stephen Metcalfe	South Basildon and East Thurrock	Con	no
Nicky Morgan	Loughborough	Con	no
Anne-Marie Morris	Newton Abbot	Con	no
David Morris	Morecambe and Lunesdale	Con	no
James Morris	Halesowen and Rowley Regis	Con	no
Bob Neill	Bromley and Chislehurst	Con	no
Caroline Nokes	Romsey and Southampton North	Con	no
David Nuttall	Bury North	Con	no
Stephen O'Brien	Eddisbury	Con	no
Matthew Offord	Hendon	Con	no
James Paice	South East Cambridgeshire	Con	no
Neil Parish	Tiverton and Honiton	Con	no
Priti Patel	Witham	Con	no
Owen Paterson	North Shropshire	Con	no
Mark Pawsey	Rugby	Con	no
Michael Penning	Hemel Hempstead	Con	no
Mark Pritchard	The Wrekin	Con	no
John Randall	Uxbridge and South Ruislip	Con	no
John Redwood	Wokingham	Con	no
Jacob Rees-Mogg	North East Somerset	Con	no
Simon Reevell	Dewsbury	Con	no
Malcolm Rifkind	Kensington	Con	no
Andrew Robathan	South Leicestershire	Con	no
Laurence Robertson	Tewkesbury	Con	no
Andrew Rosindell	Romford	Con	no
David Ruffley	Bury St Edmunds	Con	no
David Rutley	Macclesfield	Con	no
Andrew Selous	South West Bedfordshire	Con	no
Alec Shelbrooke	Elmet and Rothwell	Con	no
Richard Shepherd	Aldridge-Brownhills	Con	no
Henry Smith	Crawley	Con	no
John Stanley	Tonbridge and Malling	Con	no
John Stevenson	Carlisle	Con	no
Bob Stewart	Beckenham	Con	no
Mel Stride	Central Devon	Con	no
Julian Sturdy	York Outer	Con	no
Robert Syms	Poole	Con	no
Peter Tapsell	Louth and Horncastle	Con	no
David Tredinnick	Bosworth	Con	no
Andrew Turner	Isle of Wight	Con	no
Shailesh Vara	North West Cambridgeshire	Con	no
Martin Vickers	Cleethorpes	Con	no
Ben Wallace	Wyre and Preston North	Con	no
Robert Walter	North Dorset	Con	no
James Wharton	Stockton South	Con	no
Heather Wheeler	South Derbyshire	Con	no
Craig Whittaker	Calder Valley	Con	no
John Whittingdale	Maldon	Con	no
Bill Wiggin	North Herefordshire	Con	no
Gavin Williamson	South Staffordshire	Con	no
Jeremy Wright	Kenilworth and Southam	Con	no
Angie Bray	Ealing Central and Acton	Con	both
Andrea Leadsom	South Northamptonshire	Con	both
Phillip Lee	Bracknell	Con	both
Charlotte Leslie	Bristol North West	Con	both
Rob Wilson	Reading East	Con	both
Harriett Baldwin	West Worcestershire	Con	absent
Stephen Barclay	North East Cambridgeshire	Con	absent
Jake Berry	Rossendale and Darwen	Con	absent
Brian Binley	Northampton South	Con	absent
Nicola Blackwood	Oxford West and Abingdon	Con	absent
Jonathan Djanogly	Huntingdon	Con	absent
Jackie Doyle-Price	Thurrock	Con	absent
Philip Dunne	Ludlow	Con	absent
Tobias Ellwood	Bournemouth East	Con	absent
George Eustice	Camborne and Redruth	Con	absent
Graham Evans	Weaver Vale	Con	absent
Nigel Evans	Ribble Valley	Con	absent
Richard Fuller	Bedford	Con	absent
Dominic Grieve	Beaconsfield	Con	absent
Philip Hammond	Runnymede and Weybridge	Con	absent
Rebecca Harris	Castle Point	Con	absent
Mark Hoban	Fareham	Con	absent
Nick Hurd	Ruislip, Northwood and Pinner	Con	absent
Chris Kelly	Dudley South	Con	absent
Eleanor Laing	Epping Forest	Con	absent
Ian Liddell-Grainger	Bridgwater and West Somerset	Con	absent
Patrick Mercer	Newark	Con	absent
Anne Milton	Guildford	Con	absent
Sheryll Murray	South East Cornwall	Con	absent
Jesse Norman	Hereford and South Herefordshire	Con	absent
Claire Perry	Devizes	Con	absent
Stephen Phillips	Sleaford and North Hykeham	Con	absent
Mark Prisk	Hertford and Stortford	Con	absent
Lee Scott	Ilford North	Con	absent
Mark Spencer	Sherwood	Con	absent
Gary Streeter	South West Devon	Con	absent
Graham Stuart	Beverley and Holderness	Con	absent
Edward Timpson	Crewe and Nantwich	Con	absent
Andrew Tyrie	Chichester	Con	absent
Paul Uppal	Wolverhampton South West	Con	absent
Nadhim Zahawi	Stratford-on-Avon	Con	absent
Gregory Campbell	East Londonderry	DUP	no
Nigel Dodds	Belfast North	DUP	no
Jeffrey M Donaldson	Lagan Valley	DUP	no
William McCrea	South Antrim	DUP	no
Ian Paisley Jnr	North Antrim	DUP	no
Jim Shannon	Strangford	DUP	no
David Simpson	Upper Bann	DUP	no
Sammy Wilson	East Antrim	DUP	no
Lady Hermon	North Down	Ind	no
Joe Benton	Bootle	Lab	no
Ronnie Campbell	Blyth Valley	Lab	no
Tom Clarke	Coatbridge, Chryston and Bellshill	Lab	no
Rosie Cooper	West Lancashire	Lab	no
David Crausby	Bolton North East	Lab	no
Tony Cunningham	Workington	Lab	no
Jim Dobbin	Heywood and Middleton	Lab	no
Brian H Donohoe	Central Ayrshire	Lab	no
Robert Flello	Stoke-on-Trent South	Lab	no
Mary Glindon	North Tyneside	Lab	no
Paul Goggins	Wythenshawe and Sale East	Lab	no
Dai Havard	Merthyr Tydfil and Rhymney	Lab	no
Michael McCann	East Kilbride, Strathaven and Lesmahagow	Lab	no
Jim McGovern	Dundee West	Lab	no
Iain McKenzie	Inverclyde	Lab	no
George Mudie	Leeds East	Lab	no
Paul Murphy	Torfaen	Lab	no
Stephen Pound	Ealing North	Lab	no
Frank Roy	Motherwell and Wishaw	Lab	no
Jim Sheridan	Paisley and Renfrewshire North	Lab	no
Derek Twigg	Halton	Lab	no
Mike Wood	Batley and Spen	Lab	no
Anne Begg	Aberdeen South	Lab	absent
Gordon Brown	Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath	Lab	absent
Alex Cunningham	Stockton North	Lab	absent
Bill Esterson	Sefton Central	Lab	absent
Pat Glass	North West Durham	Lab	absent
Roger Godsiff	Birmingham, Hall Green	Lab	absent
David Heyes	Ashton-under-Lyne	Lab	absent
Jimmy Hood	Lanark and Hamilton East	Lab	absent
Lindsay Hoyle	Chorley	Lab	absent
Khalid Mahmood	Birmingham, Perry Barr	Lab	absent
Michael Meacher	Oldham West and Royton	Lab	absent
Ian Mearns	Gateshead	Lab	absent
Dawn Primarolo	Bristol South	Lab	absent
Yasmin Qureshi	Bolton South East	Lab	absent
Virendra Sharma	Ealing, Southall	Lab	absent
Gavin Shuker	Luton South	Lab	absent
Stephen Timms	East Ham	Lab	absent
Shaun Woodward	St Helens South and Whiston	Lab	absent
Alan Beith	Berwick-upon-Tweed	LDem	no
Gordon Birtwistle	Burnley	LDem	no
John Pugh	Southport	LDem	no
Sarah Teather	Brent Central	LDem	no
Norman Baker	Lewes	LDem	absent
Martin Horwood	Cheltenham	LDem	absent
Charles Kennedy	Ross, Skye and Lochaber	LDem	absent
Greg Mulholland	Leeds North West	LDem	absent
John Thurso	Caithness, Sutherland and Easter Ross	LDem	absent
David Ward	Bradford East	LDem	absent
Jennifer Willott	Cardiff Central	LDem	absent
Alasdair McDonnell	Belfast South	SDLP	absent
Margaret Ritchie	South Down	SDLP	absent
Pat Doherty	West Tyrone	SF	absent
Michelle Gildernew	Fermanagh and South Tyrone	SF	absent
Paul Maskey	Belfast West	SF	absent
Conor Murphy	Newry and Armagh	SF	absent
Stewart Hosie	Dundee East	SNP	absent
Angus MacNeil	Na h-Eileanan an Iar	SNP	absent
Angus Robertson	Moray	SNP	absent
Michael Weir	Angus	SNP	absent
Eilidh Whiteford	Banff and Buchan	SNP	absent
Pete Wishart	Perth and North Perthshire	SNP	absent
John Bercow	Buckingham	Speaker	absent

Absolutely bloody nothing, it turns out. Ctrl+F and see if your representative turns up, because mine bloody well did. Deep joy. 

I took all names from the Public Whip, original link here: http://www.publicwhip.org.uk/division.php?date=2013-02-05&number=151&display=allpossible

If I placed someone's name in error, please let me know and I'll edit it as soon as possible.

*it turns out we have tellers and can vote both or something? I... whatever. The Public Whip does explain, and I like politics, but even I can have my brain shut down in self-defense from reading political jargon.