Free schools and drunken shenanigans are both piss poor ideas

As I sit here, listening to the screaming of the brawling drunks in the street gently wafting up through up open window, I think to myself that I should really close the bloody window, or at least get that pistol crossbow assembled. I also am pondering over the more serious case of the coalition government falling out over the free schools standards thing, but the escalating battle is rather a distraction. I believe whilst it started over a man observing another in an offensively comedic fashion, it has since swept up in it's wake the various wrong doings and infidelities of several unrelated parties who have decided to pitch in. In many ways, it's a rather interesting parallel of the start of the First World War, as one minor event suddenly becoming the flashpoint for a variety of preexisting grievances given the excuse to be enacted upon.

What I'm saying is that I wish the fighting outside my window was as fun as this.

I mean, I understand (for once) where Nick Clegg is coming from. You have these schools, state-funded but not under any local authority control, who don't have to hire qualified teachers or stick to the national curriculum. Now, that to me sounds like a disaster waiting to happen - which is coincidentally my opinion about anything Michael Gove comes up with - and, well, it's not exactly a stretch to see where the Traitor King could see potential flaws in this initiative. I mean, strictly speaking, that theoretically means I could start a school with state money in my shed. This of course is a terrible idea. I'm a sort of anonymous bloke on the internet with a pistol crossbow. Also I'd probably just teach kids how to use said crossbow how to get anything they want in life. Also I don't have a shed. Also, I think the war outside has become a stalemate, further supporting my original comparison.

Of course, I doubt the First World War had amongst it's primary adversaries two assisting women alternating between shrieking accusations of the other being the guilty party of spreading venereal diseases to the aforementioned primary adversaries, and instructing the other to 'kick his fucking teeth in'. And I should know. I'm possibly a historian. In fact, this entire line of thought could merely be wishful thinking in hope that something resembling intelligence could be gleaned from this potential Daily Mail 'ALL YOUTHS ARE BINGE DRINKING MANIACS YOU SHOULD FEAR' headline. Perhaps I'm sounding elitist and arrogant in my lines of reasoning - but in my defense, after you've had the same scenario repeat itself under your window a couple of times it gets kinda boring.

Back to the actual news. Now, the Traitor King has brought up a sensible point that it's inherently a little pointless to have a national curriculum that not everyone has to adhere to. I've watched enough Doctor Who to spot the paradox there. It also strengthens his back-stabbing hands that this week we had a free school be absolutely lambasted by Ofsted for fucking up everything and to top it off, oh, look at that, discrimination and segregation of female staff and pupils. Well done Derby's Al-Mandinah's school. You suck so hard you got shut down. It managed to get the worst result in every bleedin' catergory. Wow. That's... that's a thing, alright. Achievement unlocked: You Suck At Everything (subtitle: Are you trying to fail on purpose?) I mean, even my fictional school in my fictional shed could probably get at least in one category  a 'bad' instead of a 'ruddy fucking awful' mark. It's almost like a lack of oversight and qualified personnel leads to royal fuck ups, and now I think the fighting has ironically stepped up to the 'falling over' stage.

It's not like they're even good at fighting. Whilst only occasionally watching sport, I watched the 2012 Olympics because it's always entertaining to watch phenomenal athletes at the top of their games do difficult things very well. In the same vein I have little patience for the Rocky films because he boxes so piss-poorly: 'I'll stand here and get twatted over and over until the other guys gets tired,' isn't exactly a visually engaging event in my opinion. Rocky's relevance is currently striking, as it's sort of the tactic being currently employed; swing fists randomly until opponent falls over. Of course, the alcohol merrily deadens the pain, simultaneously aiding in resisting falling over and assisting falling over, as hey, alcohol. And then all that's left now is the sweaty grappling and the rolling around. And unfortunately I don't even swing that way to grasp a modicum of enjoyment out of that.

"Well, my tactic will give you brain damage, but the important thing is that you'll be a winner."

I get even less enjoyment out of trying to understand where Education Secretary Elizabeth Truss saying that free schools greater freedom allows them to out perform state schools, where the freedoms free schools primarily seem to have and exercise is to hire people with no idea how to professional handle children and no need to keep to any expected standard of education. I just... what? What's the benefit? There has to be some logical benefit, but I can't see it. Sigh. Maybe it's about religious freedom, but the school in question seemed to use it's religious freedom to impose on other's freedom, so that's clearly not cool.

Tragically, what's worse than all this misuse of children's education is that I may just be having to agree with Clegg on something. Which is a bit rich of me complaining about that, as I high and mightily have declared I don't keep to any ideology because I'd rather go with what works, not what's already been decided, but hating on Clegg is inbuilt in me nowadays.

Fortunately, the little tikes outside seemed to have tired each other out, and are separating on the way home, perhaps aided by the fact there's few residents in this area who haven't wearingly dialed for the police by now. Not that they'd turn up for the next hour or two anyway; having a inebriated smack down in the gutter is practically a British national past time, and it gets treated as such - unless someone gets seriously hurt, which is hardly sporting.

I could shit on the free schools a bit more - of the twenty four free schools currently operating, another five are a single step above the aforementioned Derby Al-Madinah free school. Of course, I could immediately weaken my argument by mentioning that fourteen are 'good,' and four more are 'outstanding,' but hey, let me shit on something here. Let's not bring fairness into a good old fashion bitch fit. While it's possible the pilot scheme seems to be functioning (mostly) with a very small sample size, I still retain great trepidation over this scheme. It's overall about education children, about the forming of young minds, and it's something so important, so essential to our future the notion of anyone doing so without sufficient legal oversight fills me with worry. So all in all, in conclusion I believe I can heartily say...

I should really close the bloody window.