US shutdown, Tory conference, Daily Mail, oh my!

Whilst I was clearing up up the blog last week, in an attempt to make it look more professional then it is (low standards, I know) I discovered I wrote a line indicating early on that I had no intention of ever bringing politics up in the blog, like ever. Which is basically most of what I write about now. Well done, past me. Way to keep at something. Besides, at the time I was wanting to get a job in the Civil Service, which would need political neutrality, and whilst I believe I am capable of that... this post... will not be neutral. Well, this post, and like every other post here, but who's counting?

Anyway, had I kept to this no politics thing I would of been kicking myself as for this week, it was all about the politics, baby. Yeah. Starting off...

Up first we have the fact that the US of A is currently shut down. Yup. It's kinda awkward, as those senators won't be able to get tax payer subsidized haircuts anymore. For shame. Now, instinctively, I want to blame the Republicans how being pricks and kicking the American economy in the nuts over a piss off with a law that passed three years ago. However I'm also reasonably sure it takes two to tango, and there's probably enough blame to go around. Certain polls seems to back this up indicating that while the American public blame everyone in charge for this mess, they blame the Republicans most of all. Personally, I don't see how this playing chicken with the America economy, and the nutpunch to a lot of American public workers and benefit drawers wins the Republicans a lot of support. From what I've read, this could last a week... then serious shit goes down. Maybe China could buy up America on the cheap. The Republicans may be running scared of the Tea Party, but is it worth fucking over your own damn country?

In other news about fucking over your own damn country, we had the Tory conference this past week. And, wooooo... that was some unpleasant listening. Moreso for me, because I had to listen to every intended policy announcement at least three times on account that I broke into involuntary screams of horror for the first couple of listens. Where do I start? Well, bye bye Human Rights Act, or for short, Human Rights. Gone. Zip. Nada. All because Theresa May couldn't depot one person into a country that had used torture to get evidence on him, and were currently sharpening the knives awaiting his return. Yeah. Abu Qatada was a class A prick, but torture is officially and legally Not Cool, no matter how many times you try to kick him out. Aw, you got a letter from Jordan saying they pinky swear not to torture him? Er, you do realize just how little a torturer's word is worth, right? Removing the Human Rights Act is also fortunate, I guess, because it might help with the whole thing about the benefit cap may being unlawful under human rights. Though in general, I feel more depressed that whilst May was announcing the end of our legal rights as human beings, nobody cared as they were focusing on her shoes. Hoi. Can we get an Everyday Sexism check, please?

Of course, that's before we got to the main course of Davy boy taking the stage. I'll be honest with you. He might as well walked onto the stage and placed two dolls down on the floor, one labelled 'My friends', the other 'Everybody else,' before dropping his trousers and pissing on the latter doll. It would of been faster, more to the point, and more truthful. And saying that feels mean, even for me, but come on! His big thing was the whole lark of cutting benefits for the under twenty fives. Lets start unscientifically, just anecdotal evidence, okay? When I got out of university, I was out of work for a year, until I settled with a low paying job I am overqualified for. My degree isn't really getting used. And of my fellow graduates, I was probably one of the quickest employed. Was it because we were all was sitting around, milking that sweet government cash? Ah, no... well...

I WAS UNEMPLOYED BECAUSE THERE WAS NO CUNTING JOBS YOU SMUG TWAT. EVERY FUCKING JOB HAD ABOUT EIGHTY OF ME APPLYING FOR THE SAME BLOODY STARTER POSITION. YOU. UTTER. SHIT.

Fine. I admit it. I hate this man and his stupid face. Happy?

It's not a case of work or school. It takes time to get a job, especially in this economy and lack of support, so you scrape by on the pittance the dole gives you. Take that away? Fuck, that is callous. Especially after Davy boy abolished the future jobs fund and educational maintenance allowance. Whoops. Anyway, numbers. About £1.2 billion of Job Seekers Allowance (JSA) goes to the under twenty fives. That's a lot. The total amount for the JSA runs up to £4.83 billion (which is even more of a lot) or very roughly a quarter of the whole JSA goes to those damn under twenty fives. So let's consider the whole benefit bill. It's around £159 billion holy fucking hell. That is a big number. Wait. £1.2 billion is, like, fuck all to that number. Less then a one percent. In fact, if you really wanted to cut the biggest drain in our welfare bill, you'd go after the pensions, at a whopping $74.22 billion cost. That's nearly half the welfare bill. Fuck it, cut that, they're old, they're about to die anyway... said no-one, ever, as retirees have precious little money as it is and they vote. Consistently. Often for Tories, where the young doesn't.

(Numbers were taken from here, featured 2011-12 spending, and comes with the actual data in spreadsheet form to download. Mmm. Spreadsheets.)

Of course, the Tories couldn't even keep the spotlight on themselves for the whole conference as it turns out this week was one of those times where the Daily Mail puts it's balls on the table and goes out swinging to show just why they're the most reviled dirt rag in Britain. By attacking Ed Miliband's dad. Well, dead dad. Well, he had to be dead, or it's libel. I'm pretty sure the Daily Mail knows the libel laws by rote at this point. So Eddy's dad was a Marxist, and thus hated Britain. Also he fought in the British Navy and was a professor in an esteemed university but whatever! Marxist. Ergo, hates Britain. Also mentioned, and I quote, was his 'evil legacy.' Nice. Evil. Basically, according to the Daily Mail, a Jewish professor with left leanings is on par with Assad and Jimmy Saville. Nice to know.

Of course, they could of left in there... but then they wouldn't be the Daily Mail, now, would they? They doubled down on that shit. First of all, they repeated the claims after Eddy's obvious response, with a picture of Ralph Miliband's grave. But then they are the Daily Mail, so this wasn't enough, so they - yes, it does get worse, stick with me here - they sent round two reporters to dig up dirt about Ralph at his brother's private family memorial. Yes. Of course they would. Daily Mail. My proposed new slogan: We can go lower.

This sort of thing is high stakes... uh, I don't want to use the word journalism because it really isn't appropriate, so let's go with the more honest shit smearing - as they stole attention away from the Tories to show Eddy looking as sad as a person who had people publish lies about his dead dad. And Eddy played it well - instead of coming thumping out with cries of I'm a politician, damn it, he instead spoke as a wounded son and was very composed about things. Incredibly, by being civil he achieved the impossible and actually made the Daily Mail look even scummier. Even Davy boy was forced to grudgingly admit that Eddy's got a right to be upset, and the Traitor King Clegg came out to defend Eddy. In a few weeks, when this country chooses which Royal Charter to follow about press regulation; one submitted from the press, another, more restrictive, from an independent panel, if they choose the latter I want the Daily Mail to realize that this happened for precisely this shit they keep pulling. Like last time, when they hounded a trans woman until she committed suicide.

What? Daily Mail. We can go lower.

It's almost funny because of all the people to accuse someone else of hating Britain, the Daily Mail hates Britain unlike any other. And women. And non-white people. And non-married couples. And modern things. And children. And the NHS. And happiness. I could link you to things, but I view the Daily Mail as a soul mate to the Westboro Baptist Church and Fox News - I won't link as they're link baiting. Don't go to them, let them whither and die. With all their billions of views. Hmm.

And all this depressing shit I could of missed, if I had kept to avoiding politics. I'd probably be talking about funny and cute pictures I found this week.

This Chihuahua adopted a marmoset! IT RIDES ON HIS BACK.

I regret everything.