Star Wars possible return to form? And I couldn't care less

Oh look, one of the original writers of the original trilogy of Star Wars is returning to write for the new Star Wars film. As a fan of Star Wars, I should be excited, right?

No.

I could not give less of a pulsating rat's testicle.

Also, he's involved, so expect so much lens flare you'll be forced to see it in 3D just for the darkening effect to avoid blindness.

And that, my friends, is evidence of the worst thing a franchise can suffer from: franchise burnout.

I was a good age for Star Wars. Obviously, I was not around for the original trilogy to be aired. However, I was a young boy when the remastered versions of the original trilogy came to the big screen, and I watched those, year on year, an instant convert. I had a steadily growing collection of the toys, had a few posters, and before I'd even got the toys I'd make intricate X-Wings and Darth Vader's out of Lego. When David Prose was on the radio, I called him up to ask about how they fought with the lightsabers - you see, I knew they were painted onto the film, and thus wasn't actually in the actor's hands, so I was wondering how they clashed sabers when logically they would have no idea where the sabers were at. He politely explained that they had these spinning bamboo dohickeys that were a right menace as they broke all the damn time. Later that day, I went to a fan convention he was at, and I had him sign a Darth Vader card I owned, which I still have somewhere.

This was before I knew that David Prose would sign anything, but hey, at the time, it mattered to me. Still does a little, in fact.

Linking Star Wars to my video game hobby, I've seen a fair few good to great games made by LucasArts, now a defunct studio. The Jedi Knight / Academy series, the Rogue Squadron series, and later, by Bioware, the first two Knights Of The Old Republic.

Of course, this happiness wouldn't last. I'm not going to give another lambasting of the prequel trilogy - far more talented individuals have already done so - but even back then I had hope. Genndy Tartakovsky made a fantastic Clone Wars mini-series,(which you must check out) but as the final prequel crawled in, I made a conscious decision to not pay to see it. I knew back then it wouldn't be worth it. Later on, I borrowed a pirated disk and fast forwarded it whenever it got too boring. I skipped most the film in the end, to weary to bother trying to engage. It broke me, broke my patience, broke my enjoyment of the whole damn experience.

This weariness wasn't exactly a new thing, as I had suffered it during Return Of The Jedi. Seriously. Knowing that the only reason bleedin' Ewoks were in that movie was to sell toys, and that the original concept had the fight be on Kashyyyk, the Wookie home world? Not only does the resulting fight make more sense, but how awesome would that of turned out? But no, Ewoks. Because the toys.

So many little things can burn out a franchise. Pushing to sell. Piss poor acting. Ignoring basic continuity. Flanderization of characters. Terrible, awful dialogue. Cameoing previous characters. An idiot director with no checks on his dross. Star Wars had it all. And when I felt it mattered to the people who made it, it mattered to me. It was art. Now, I see Yoda shilling phones. It's clear that Star Wars doesn't matter as an expression, as a story, as art: it's a soulless product. Boring. I'll pass.

Just... fuck you. Fuck you whomever thought of this. Fuck you with a rake. Fuck you with a rusty rake.

Now I've seen my fair share of beloved franchises become meaningless to me. Assassin's Creed has gone on a down slide as their incessant drive to produce annual title's has not only slowed the story down so much it becomes meaningless but by the time I can afford one the next one's out. I'm skipping Assassin's Creed 3, and going to try AC 4 when I find the money. It does help that not only did I feel that Connor from AC 3 was boring, but Ubisoft did as well and have quickly passed over him for AC 4. Passing quickly over the Mass Effect series, whilst I can say I brought even piece of dlc for the second game - I gobbled every piece up - I didn't for the third. While I could not get enough of Mass Effect 2, I could not stomach another second of heartbreak from Mass Effect 3. In fact, the only reason I brought any dlc for the third game was an attempt to purge the worst of the pain of the ending from my mind, but it never was like the second game, with me paying good money of useless cosmetic differences.

I may have brought this outfit purely to make stop her looking like a prostitute.

It's not just me. Hear about this one - audiences reacted positively to trailers of Devil until M. Night Shyamalan's name cropped up, resulting in derisive laughter? So what you're toxic, any publicity, right? Right? Ah, no. As we see films more and more nowadays trend to sequels, we also see the rise of diminishing returns. Whilst a sequel is seen as a safe risk, the reviews (and more importantly, the cash) starts to dwindle rapidly. So yes, make annual sequels, sell on your IP to someone else (I've belatedly remembered in fairness seperating George Lucas from Star Wars is only a good thing) and push the merchandise - but if you don't care, nor will your audience.

Overexposure, soulless shilling and being generally crap does in the most beloved franchises. Or, you could just try to make sure you respect your product and try to do a good job with it. But beware, by the time you grasp that concept, don't let too much time pass that the audeince just can't be brought back.

Oh, hey, another Pokemon game is out.

I DON'T EVEN SO CUTE WUT

Oh god shut up and take my money Nintendo.